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"But there’s actually a much simpler, more obvious, and more likely explanation for the reason so many bisexuals wind up in opposite-sex partnerships: The odds fall enormously in their favor." . That said, we have to remember that even within monogamous opposite-sex relationships, if one or both parties identify as bisexual, that partnership doesn’t invalidate anyone’s bisexual identity—after all, we’d never tell a gay man practicing abstinence that he “wasn’t really gay” just because he wasn’t Ultimately, a relationship with a bisexual in it isn’t ever really “straight” anyway—by virtue of the fact that there’s at least one person in there queering the whole thing up.
I’ve since come to understand that actually, the “bi” implies attraction not to two genders, but to members of both one’s own and other genders, and that the bisexual umbrella includes a wide rainbow of labels connoting sexual fluidity. Given all that struggle and growth, my current situation might come as a surprise: I’m in a committed, long-term relationship with a cisgender man who identifies as straight—just like a startling majority of other bisexual women.
Dan Savage once observed that “most adult bisexuals, for whatever reason, wind up in opposite-sex relationships.” Whether or not you’re a fan of Savage (or his sometimes dubious takes on bisexuality), the statistics support his assertion: The massive 2013 Pew Research LGBT Survey found 84 percent of self-identified bisexuals in committed relationships have a partner of the opposite sex, while only 9 percent are in same-sex relationships. Because on the surface, the fact that 84 percent of bisexuals eventually wind up in opposite-sex partnerships could appear to support the notion that bisexuality is, as people so often insist, actually either “just a phase” or a stepping-stone on the path to “full-blown gayness.” Knowing that wasn’t true, I decided to investigate.
Only on my mom’s side of the family.” I’m one of those people who’d always misguidedly “hated labels,” and I actively eschewed the term “bisexual” for years.
I went on to date a number of trans guys, and in my mind, “bi” was also indicative of a gender binary I didn’t believe existed.
Let’s be real: No one ever knows the perfect formula to dating, especially not in college.
Yet, like a swift autumn breeze, the season for finding a beautiful girl to cuddle with on those cold, lonely nights is upon us.We all have pasts (and futures, if relationships don’t work out) and as monogamous as we might be, as in love as we might be, our current relationship doesn’t erase that. Too many tattoos and piercings (well, that's what my mum said).Plus, dating a guy doesn’t stop bi women lusting innocently after Ellen Page through the safety of a TV screen any more than dating another woman in a mono relationship does so for lesbians. “You’re so lucky, you get straight privilege.” Having your identity completely denied and ignored is THE BEST. Pretty much one of the most awkward things ever is having to say “my ex-girlfriend” to someone casually in conversation (especially the boyfriend’s parents) when they think you are “straight” and then be grilled about how/why you “changed [your] mind.” Dating a guy isn’t the “safe option” if you’re bi. “I bet you have threesomes all the time.” Some bi girls do. If it’s all consenting adults and everyone is smiling, so what? “How much are you selling your tan Birkenstocks and Melissa Etheridge albums for, then? Some of my initial suppositions included internalized homophobia, fear of community and family rejection, and concerns over physical safety.Although being bisexual doesn’t necessarily mean you’re equally attracted to multiple genders, it does seem feasible that these sorts of concerns could push a person with fluid attractions in the direction deemed more socially acceptable.There likely aren’t a ton of people on this planet—let alone within your geography or social circles—whose moral compass, sense of humor, Netflix addictions, dietary restrictions, and idiosyncrasies sync up with yours closely enough to make you want to hitch your wagon to them for the long-haul (and the internet is making us all even picker).Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating