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For the first time, I could envision dismantling a lifelong wall I had constructed--against myself.I’ve done my best to follow that revelation since I met Michael, and it has led me to a great deal of love. Evelyn Hooker, whose groundbreaking research led to the declassification of homosexuality as a mental illness, would quote the novelist Finn Carling: "I am not only studying homosexuals, but I am studying refugees, because they teach me the meaning of movement.Everyone wrestles with the struggle between fear and authenticity.
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There are several places on outskirts of town you will see old men sitting in cars with out of town license plates sitting there waiting for another gay man to drive up.
They leave notes soliciting for sex on the tops of garbage cans and picnic tables at the park.
Then the path of authenticity starts to feel like a path to freedom; a path we can stop walking alone.
I really don't see the need to come out of the closest as I've never really felt a big need to announce to the whole world I prefer women to men.
As Gandhi said, “love is the prerogative of the brave.” There is a small but tremendously potent question we can ask to discover our own personal “closet,” and a mindfulness practice to overcome our fear of stepping out of it. He knew that his healing would center on revealing the very truths he was most afraid to tell.
More than anything, that meant coming out to his parents.
Deeper Dating integrates the best of human intimacy theory with timeless spiritual truths and translates them into a practical, step-by-step process.
Jason Collins' decision to come out electrified the country—and not only for political reasons.
Even though he was living with his partner, he had never said the word “gay” to them—and he was petrified.
After he came out (they were wonderful), he wrote this poem: I Held On To My Secret I held on to my secret tightly Hid it behind my teeth Choked it in my throat Crushed it in my chest Was dwarfed by it, humiliated by it Chased by it I stepped over the edge when I revealed my secret but it didn't hurt My other foot simply landed It was, after all, no revelation to me The pain I was protecting myself from by carrying my secret was the pain I was inflicting on myself by carrying my secret There is no worse pain than that of isolation.
This post will offer a simple exercise for naming your "personal closets," and gently liberating yourself from their hold. At the time, I was reading Jack Kerouac’s ; required reading for every post-hippie college student.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating