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Many people simply do not know how to help somebody through the trauma of rape or sexual assault, and so they become frustrated and bewildered and feel that they are in some way failing the person they care about.

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What is important is that someone who has been attacked is allowed to experience their feelings without fear of having them invalidated or dismissed.

It is important that they feel they have people who will allow them to talk and will try to understand their needs rather than assuming that others know best and rushing them to "get over it".

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When someone has been raped or sexually assaulted, they obviously need a great deal of support from the people around them as well as from people like counselors, the police, doctors and so on.

Make it clear that you will be around to talk to now or in the future, and help them to trust you not to push them into expressing things before they are ready.

Ask if they know any other friends they would find it easier to talk to, or if they would like to see a Rape Counselor, and offer to help them organize this if they'd like you to, but remember not to pressure them into anything they don't feel ready for.

People who have been raped or sexually abused need to rebuild feelings of safety, trust, control and self-worth, all things which are often lost through an assault.

The following are some tips on "DOs" and "DON'Ts" to help you to help the person you love through the trauma of rape or sexual assault.

You wouldn't expect somebody who has been mugged to have been able to prevent it.

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