Dating newly separated women

Aside from my own luck and the trendy radio ads and sexy commercials, it seems as if no one’s happy.

Dear Geoff, Glad to hear you found someone special, and even happier that you spoke up.

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I’m guessing you concluded that the thought of being with the wrong man is far worse than the thought of being alone.

So, since you can ALWAYS find a quality he DOESN’T have, it doesn’t make much sense to rely on such lists. This brings up an obvious question, however: “What about men? And if you’re in touch with the dozens of reasons that most men don’t make the cut, what are the reasons that men use to cut you loose? In fact, I think you’d be SURPRISED at what men REALLY want from women. Because there are lots of amazing women who have the potential to be great girlfriends but accidentally sabotage themselves.

While it’s nice to say, “I want to meet someone organically, where our eyes meet, so I can feel chemistry”, that simply doesn’t happen very often. My first love, in 2003, was a Filipino woman that worked in the pharmaceutical industry and lived in a different part of town. I have dozens of clients who are married, engaged and in love with people they met online. So let’s acknowledge the flaws of online dating: the liars, the bores, the flakes, the crazies, the morons, the perverts, the poor spellers, and so on. The third, and most popular choice, is to quit and wait for your soulmate to drop out of the sky, like “The Secret” for love. Your best bet is to keep dusting yourself off, learning from your mistakes, and staying in the game. But sometimes, with enough perseverence (as well as luck, timing, a good profile and a positive attitude), you’ll fall in love.

And if it hasn’t happened to you yet, you can say “What’s wrong with these terrible people on these awful sites?

You see, I have a unique perspective – I’ve not only dated hundreds of women (before I became happily married) but I’m a coach for both women and men. Suddenly, the editors were on the phone with a question: “Funny list, but what about a list for women? It’s not that I was above it; rather, I never even thought about it. You graduated summa cum laude from an Ivy League masters program? I think a lot of women reading your blog are concerned about more than just getting a 2nd date. And from the guys I’ve known, it seems that they care more about sexiness and lightness when it comes to deciding to have LTRs with women.

And I’ve had countless nice, decent, relationship-oriented guys tell me why it SEEMED like they really liked a woman but then bailed on her. I finally cobbled something together with the help of some friends.

Average review will be 2 out of 5 stars or something like that. Because people who get married from online dating sites rarely get back online to post happy reviews on websites.

They move on with their lives, while everyone else complains about the sites and the awful people on the sites.

You’re seeing a great guy and you THINK you’re getting close, but then he suddenly pulls away and you have NO IDEA what happened. She’d put it together in a few hours over a few glasses of wine with her girlfriends. Because when you compare the number of factors that determine whether a guy is date-worthy with the number of factors that determine whether you’re date-worthy, it’s night and day. Men ask two questions: Do I want to sleep with you? All of this is just a long way of stating what every man knows – and most women don’t: We are not nearly as concerned with your merits as much as how you make us FEEL. If you’re fun and easygoing, it makes us enjoy our time together. It makes us want to keep you around forever and ever. My husband has a male friend who broke up with his girlfriend because supposedly, she wasn’t up to his intellectual level.

I can tell you what happened – if you’re ready to turn your love life around forever… I thought the list was so hysterical, that I included it in the first draft of my book. In all my years of dating, I never stopped to dissect the behavior of my female dates. Do I feel good about myself when I’m spending time with you? Which means that all of your amazing qualities may not even matter to him at ALL! You ran a half-marathon and raised twelve thousand dollars for leukemia? Understand, men DO value intelligence, but they also want from their girlfriend what they CAN’T get from their business associates. I have another guy friend who has complained about not being able to have deep discussions with virtually every single girlfriend he has had.

Here’s one thing that all of my work with smart, strong, successful women has brought to my attention – front and center: It’s not easy being a smart woman.

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